Seven for the seconds I live away from heaven
Seven for the times the gods will let the already-dead win
And seven are the times I have tried,
And been denied
My entry to the door
that guards the first floor of heaven.
Seven for the seconds I die away from earth
And seven are the times that I have shirked
And gone berserk
If only in my mind
which is between the gods and I.
Seven for the days that are numbered,
The days I find without wonder,
And I wonder still,
Who will die when I will?
Xuan Nguyen is a disabled, transgender, and Vietnamese-American writer and artist who does music as FEYXUAN. They focus on the intersections between transgender identity, divinity + monstrosity, and stigmatized mental and physical health. Their work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Rattle, Rogue Agent, and beestung. They have two upcoming chapbooks: LUNG, CROWN, AND STAR (Dec 2020, Lazy Adventurer) and THE FAIRIES SING EACH TO EACH (EST Dec 2020, Flower Press). Xuan can be reached through their websites at feyxuan.com or mothlily.love.
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